Acceptance

I was having a discussion via Facebook last week with two of my close girlfriends (Zia & Michelle). Michelle is my wonderfully amazing friend who is currently residing in Buenos Aires, Argentina. She wrote something that was very enlightening and I must share:

Acceptance:
You're bored? That's okay.
You're feeling unsupported and lonely? That's okay.
Those emotions are totally normal and understandable and GOOD,
Because is means that things are changing!
Accept your lovely self,
ALL of your feelings,
Even the 'bad' ones,
And know that everything is impermanent.
Everything changes
We all go up, and down, and up, and down,
Because balance is not One Spot that we reach if we just work hard enough
and do everything perfectly.
Balance is a verb, a continuous choice.
It's unending.
Which might sound tiring, but that's what freedom is.
Unending choice, freedom in every moment.

I think women have an especially difficult time with acceptance. We spend so much time in self-hate or what I like to label: negative self-talk. Why is it so easy for us who find fulfillment in being supportive of those around us, but simply cannot manage to see we are holding a mirror? The things we reach out to be supportive with is exactly the support we are lacking in our own lives. If we would learn to love and support ourselves the way we do others, this very idea of acceptance would become like second nature.

Such is my struggles......What if I don't want to accept? What if I would rather knowingly cause myself pain to deny myself that acceptance? What if I realize I'm not willing to accept?

I think it leaves me exactly where I am in the present......denial of the need for relationships, lack of desire to have a romantic or spiritual relationship, and still wondering why my husband was taken from me far too soon. I don't want to accept it. It sucks. It sucks the life out of me some days.....I find myself not being able to trust people. Do I truly trust myself?